


Openly Affectionate

by InkstainedGwyn



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Fluff, Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, just learning that it's okay to be soft, not really homophobia, the it is in for like 30 seconds, yosuke figuring shit out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 07:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8524351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkstainedGwyn/pseuds/InkstainedGwyn
Summary: Yosuke loves Souji but he doesn't get all the lovey-dovey affectionate crap; that stuff is for girls, after all, right? Or: In Which Yosuke Realises That He Really Just Wants To Hold Souji's Hand





	

**Author's Note:**

> I needed something light and fluffy to counteract the last couple of days, and of course my boys stepped up. I was thinking about Yosuke telling Souji that hugs are for girls in the game, and I wanted to take a look at how he might come to terms with being publicly affectionate - after all, I think we can all agree that Yosuke Hanamura is one cheesy, romantic guy.
> 
> Here's my [tumblr](https://ohlookashinysquirrel.tumblr.com) if you want to poke at me.

It was their first fight.

To be fair, it wasn’t exactly a fight, but it made Yosuke feel just as bad as if it had been; it happened that afternoon, while they were on their way to Okina. It was their first trip together as a couple; Souji slid into the seat next to Yosuke - as expected - and he’d then laid his head on Yosuke’s shoulder - _not_ as expected.

If had just been a quick motion, maybe Yosuke would have been okay with it. As it was, it was an endearing gesture, but it was _too hot_ on the train for that kind of thing and besides… besides-

“Heyyyy, partner, stop it. That sappy stuff is for _girls_ , you know?”

For a second, the brunette was afraid that Souji was going to snap at him, or tell him to cut it out, but no; Souji was Souji. Yosuke’s words hurt him, that much was obvious, but he just smiled in that gentle way he had that made Yosuke’s chest tighten, and shifted a little - no more than an inch or so - away from the brunette.

“Of course, Yosuke. Whatever makes you comfortable.”

To anyone else, it would have been a mild reaction - Souji’s voice was as soft as ever, after all - but Yosuke… Yosuke knew better. Yosuke knew exactly _what_ Souji sounded like when he was hurt - always hidden, as he didn’t want to burden anyone with it - and every time the brunette heard it, his heart sank.

Now, of course, it just made Yosuke feel guilty, but it shouldn’t, right? _I’m a guy. He’s a guy. Sure, you want to do that sort of thing with a_ girl _, but… not with a guy. I’m fine with the kissing and stuff, but… guys don’t_ like _sappy things._

The trip was a bust. It wasn’t that Souji was sullen, or had a bad attitude - he was as amiable and cheerful as ever - but it was as if there was a four-to-six-inch divider between the two of them for the entire trip, and Yosuke found himself painfully aware of the distance. 

At least Souji didn’t refuse his good-night kiss when they stood outside the brunette’s house; after that, Yosuke was able to go inside and to bed feeling a _little_ better.

_After all, that’s what a relationship should be like if it’s just two guys._

* * *

If he hadn’t known Souji as well as he did, he would have accused his boyfriend of being petty. After that day, no matter where they were, what they did, or where they went together, Souji always kept himself a little withdrawn - sometimes rigidly so. There were never any accidental hand-brushes, no arms around shoulders or waists. They walked together, sometimes bumping against one another, but never held hands; they sat next to one another, touching, but never leaned together. If you’d asked Yosuke, he would have said they’d had more romantic moments _before_ they started dating.

Not that it _bothered_ him - not the lack of romance. They still kissed - quite a bit - and said they loved each other, and exchanged texts. That was how it _should_ be. No, what bothered him was how he knew it was affecting Souji. His boyfriend never said anything, never gave him a longing glance, but it was still easy to tell how sad it made the silver-haired boy - and _that_ was why Yosuke found himself feeling worse and worse every time he’d catch Souji half-reaching for his hand, then pulling his own away and clenching a fist, as if he’d been burned. 

It had _nothing_ to do with the fact that Yosuke missed his boyfriend’s touch.

* * *

One afternoon, the group was hanging out on the roof; there were no clubs that day, so everyone was just relaxing before heading home, and Yosuke found himself blushing when Chie snuggled up to Yukiko’s side to rest her cheek against her girlfriend’s shoulder, idly twirling a strand of hair around her finger as the two of them talked, quietly. Down the wall, Kanji sat with his arm around Naoto, and for a moment, Yosuke felt lonely.

_Ugh. Maybe… holding hands or something subtle wouldn’t be too bad. Not when we’re walking around, of course, but… at times like this…_

Looking to his side, he was startled to realise that Souji wasn’t there. Frowning a little, he looked at the clock; it wasn’t late, but it was late enough that he could see Souji needing to get back to start dinner. Just then, Rise came up the stairs, having gone to get a drink.

“I just passed Senpai heading home and he looked _miserable_. What did you do, Yosuke?”

“Hey!” His heart aching, Yosuke couldn’t help snapping. “What makes you think I did anything?”

“Well, they weren’t talking, so I dunno.” Chie looked over, shrugging. “But you two have been kinda weird lately, you know? If you hadn’t told us you were dating, I’d never have suspected a thing. I’d ask if you’re trying to hide it but you don’t seem to mind telling people about it.”

“Why are you being so cold to Senpai?” Rise looked upset. “It’s not fair!”

The brunette spluttered at this. “What the hell? We’re two _guys_. Guys don’t do that kinda thing with each other!” 

His arm still around Naoto’s shoulders, Kanji spoke up. “What the hell, dude? Everybody wants to do that kinda thing when they’re dating. You’re sayin’ you never wanted it?”

Nonplussed, Yosuke crossed his arms. “Well, _yeah_ , but with a girl, not with a _guy_ , dumbass! I mean,  you’re with a girl right now so it’s not like you can talk, and-”

“Oh who gives a shit about what other people think, Senpai? Fuck. I don’t give a shit if Naoto’s a girl or a guy, I like holdin’ her close because I like the way she smells, and-”

The (now quite red) detective spoke up hurriedly, cutting her boyfriend off. “Ahem! I think- I think what Kanji means is that the urge is due to being with someone you love, not based off their gender. After all, are you saying that Souji-senpai being a boy makes you feel less romantic towards him? Are you okay giving up on those things forever? Would you be more interested if another girl came along with whom you would ‘be allowed’ to do such things?” Here, Naoto made air quotes, and Yosuke found himself feeling sick and angry.

“ _Hell no!_ Ugh, whatever, you guys. This is pointless, I’m going home.” Grabbing his backpack he stormed off, ignoring the looks his friends gave each other as he left.

* * *

He’d hoped that the walk home would help clear his head, but all it did was make him more confused. 

_I didn’t wanna be all lovey-dovey because it made me feel weird, but… I feel pretty shitty right now._ Ugh. _What if it’s not the lovey-dovey that made me feel weird, maybe it was just… oh dammit, I’m thinking too hard about this!_

Once home, he headed for his room, slamming his door; after a moment, he took a deep breath and sat down at his desk. Grabbing one of his school notebooks, he started to write down all the ‘cute’ things he’d always wanted to do with a girl.

  * bring her flowers
  * take her out to dinner
  * hold hands
  * snuggle on the subway esp when it’s cold
  * brush her hair
  * hug her from behind when she’s wearing an apron (kiss her neck if she’s not holding a pan)
  * kiss on a picnic (cherry blossoms?)
  * tell her she’s beautiful (she’ll blush)
  * buy her favourite dessert and surprise her
  * wait for her after work and walk her home when she’s tired
  * watch the stars (hope for a shooting star)
  * watch fireworks together
  * wear yukata together
  * cuddle during a movie she likes
  * kiss her forehead



It felt weird writing the word ‘her’; biting his lip, Yosuke skimmed his eyes down the list, he started to think about doing these things with Souji. He knew he was blushing, but to be honest - it felt weird, but not _bad_. _And Souji wears an apron all the time. I wonder if he’d blush? I bet he’d blush_.

Suddenly, he found himself startled half to death as Teddie started pounding on his door, yelling something about wanting to watch TV - _dammit, bear, go away!_ \- and as Yosuke looked at the clock, he realised he’d spent over an hour staring at his list. 

Daydreaming about Souji.

He’d just taken a deep breath when his cell phone, sitting on his desk, lit up - it was Souji, and he grabbed it immediately.

“Partner! Is everything okay?”

“Yosuke? Uh, yeah. Um, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for leaving so suddenly, I wasn’t feeling well, and-”

Feeling guilty, Yosuke squeezed the phone gently. “Hey, no, it’s fine, are you okay now?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m- okay. Thanks.”

 _Except you’re not, I know better._ Yosuke didn’t even want to play along with the ‘sick’ excuse, so he took a deep breath. “Hey, um, can we hang out tomorrow? I gotta do some stuff in the morning, but maybe after lunch?”

There was a pause on the other end, and Yosuke was pretty sure Souji had just nodded, and then his boyfriend’s voice came back over the phone. “Oh, yeah, sure. I’d like that.”

“Okay.” _Okay. Step one down._ “We’ll sort dinner and stuff out when I get there, okay?”

“Sure.” Souji sounded as amiable as ever, and Yosuke found himself holding his breath. “Well, Nanako just yelled that the rice is ready so I need to go, but… I love you, Yosuke.”

Yosuke smiled a little at this, closing his eyes. “I love you, too, partner. Go get dinner.”

Call over, Yosuke sat back down at his desk, starting to make a new list.

* * *

The next day, true to his word, Yosuke headed over to Souji’s place just after lunch. Knocking, he stood nervously on the doorstep; when the door opened he was relieved to see that it was Souji, not Nanako. Before his boyfriend could say anything, Yosuke - certain that he was redder than he’d ever been before - held out the bouquet of flowers he’d bought. 

“H-here. I um, got these for you.”

For a moment, nothing happened; Yosuke sneaked a look up at Souji to see the boy standing in the doorway, stunned, his face _bright_ red. After a second, Souji realised that it was up to him, so he took the flowers; there was a confused look on his face, but it didn’t trump the look of extreme happiness, and Yosuke bit his lip, following Souji inside.

 _Okay, wow, he’s really super cute when he blushes. Damn, I almost wish I’d done this earlier._ The brunette felt uncomfortable, sure - but he couldn’t deny that the look on his boyfriend’s face was worth it as Souji stood in the kitchen, arranging the bouquet in a vase and occasionally leaning over to smell the flowers. 

Then Nanako ran in, and she had a story for Yosuke about something that had happened at school, and of course she had to show him the peppers that were almost ripe for picking in the garden. By the time they came back in, Souji was standing in the kitchen, making tea.

He wasn’t wearing an apron, and Yosuke was too embarrassed - at least for the moment - to walk up and put his arms around Souji’s waist or kiss his neck, but he walked up to stand next to his boyfriend. When he did, Souji looked over at him, and smiled, and Yosuke was already struck by how much more _open_ his boyfriend looked.

It made him happy.

He was happy enough, in fact, that he slid an arm around Souji’s waist; when he did, the silver-haired boy froze. Turning his head, he looked back at the brunette.

“Yosuke… what’s going on?”

Swallowing, Yosuke started to hesitantly explain. “I, uh… I’ve been pretty, um, crappy lately, with, um, all of the ‘that’s for girls’ shit. I… I _miss_ you, you know? So I… wanna take you out to dinner. I made reservations. It’s nowhere fancy, I know that’s okay, I just wanted to be sure we got a table. And, uh… I wanna hold hands on the way there.”

“Yosuke.” For a moment, Souji had looked hopeful, but now he just looked concerned. “I know it bothers you, you don’t have to-”

“I do.” Taking a deep breath, the brunette stepped closer to Souji, keeping his arm around his boyfriend’s waist; when he did, he realised how _good_ Souji smelled, and he wondered, offhand, what it would be like to kiss Souji’s neck. “I _do_ because I _want_ these things, and I want them with _you_. Not some random girl. And I know you want these things and, I- I just want you to be _you_. Okay? I don’t want you to keep holding yourself back. I’ll let you know if something bothers me but until I do… assume I’m fine, okay? Heck. Assume I’m- enjoying it.”

He was bright red by this point, but so was Souji; the silver-haired boy searched Yosuke’s face for a long moment before nodding. 

“Okay.” 

Hesitantly, he leaned his head onto Yosuke’s shoulder, and when the brunette looked over he was struck by how _shy_ Souji looked - and Shy Souji was so _wonderful_ that Yosuke realised that it was _worth_ being a little out of his element if he got to see that sort of thing more often. 

_After all… maybe I’m not uncomfortable. Maybe I’m just nervous because that’s how you feel when you’re with the person you love. Ugh, he's so cute when he blushes._

Heartened by that thought, he turned his head and kissed his boyfriend’s forehead; when he did, Souji gave a happy sigh and wrapped an arm around Yosuke’s shoulders… and Yosuke realised that it felt a thousand times better than it had in his daydreams.

 _I can get used to this. I can_ really _get used to this._


End file.
